PEOPLE AS PROJECTORS
“Projection” the verb.
The term projector in this sense means the contents of someone’s thoughts, emotions, feelings and beliefs that form their perception of others. How those contents in that individual are then projected on to others who are then seen in that self-created biased light.
Generally, a person projecting their negative perception of you from their minds about you whilst they are not even aware or take any responsibility for their projections or abuse.
Who am I?
I accept who I am.
I am at peace with who I am.
I am my worst critic, so no one can be more critical. I am satisfied with me as my worst discerning constructive critic.
I am my biggest supporter who knows what to cheer in me.
I am my voice of reason applied to all other aspects of only myself.
I am happy with who I am, and I am happy with my life. So, this is self-acceptance. Accepting I’m not perfect, that I am perfectly imperfect like everyone else.
To My Critics:
-I am a Narcissist.
-Think that I’m special.
-Think I know it all.
-I am Arrogant.
-Too Controlling.
-A liar
-A conspiracy theorist
-Wear a Tin foil hat.
-Leader of a cult.
-I am egotistical
-I think I’m cleverer than you
-I am naive.
-I am crazy
I can’t think of any more that I’ve been accused of being at the mo, haha! but there are plenty of these examples. Yes to all of the above, I am all of these things that people see in me.
I am all of these things THEY SEE in me, not things that I am. They are inside of the person projecting to identify them as such, because they are the contents of their heart and mind, not mine.
“Getting to Know You”
People leak constantly, they leak the contents of their mind, by how they perceive the world and then think it is such. They then voice and respond upon their own interpretation and current running thoughts. Even without uttering a single word.
I don’t necessarily have to ask or talk to a person sometimes to know what they are thinking. I’m not saying this to show off, I’m just saying how it is for me and my experiences. Some people are easier to read than others, leaking out more cues and signals about who they are than others, and they often tell me what they think too.
A Person’s Actions
Sometimes you don’t have to try to understand what a person thinks of you, because their choice of actions not words, will present their true nature and real mindset about something.
Avoiding it, or trying to control it, or getting emotional or triggered when a topic comes up or even by not talking about it can give away their true intentions.
People form opinions all the time, based on who they are. Some will see you as a saint and some will see you as a sinner.
People project their contents on to you and paint their versions, their scripts of you, but it is their version of you based on who they are and not actually representative of who you actually are. So, any other person will be running their own narratives about the world and if they meet you, you will be included in their narratives as a “this” or a “that.” My point here is that none of anyone else’s versions of you are actually you. Some may be able to read you well and know you well by taking the time to get to know you. These people are less likely to project their incorrect versions of you if they get to know you, but also more likely to have a false incorrect perception of you if they do not know you.
Some people, because of their nature, will be very quick to form their own opinions about you, and who they think you are, not based on who you actually are, but based on who they are and how they think.
I am not offended by what you see in me as it is a reflection of you. Just as what I see in you is a reflection of me.
When someone calls me X, or suspicious or thinks that I think I’m special it is a representation and reflection of who they are. I’ve had examples of people calling me “controlling” and then they placed conditions on the relationship!? I’ve had people think that I see myself as a guru (I don’t) but it reflects they are arrogant and in ego instead.
People’s Versions of You
So what people see in you is actually inside them. Remember this as other people’s versions of you are in them and from them and not a true reflection of who you are. It can never be a fully accurate version of you because it is someone else generating it and creating the script for it inside them.
What it does reveal, is the contents of a person’s mind and shows the type of way in which they perceive the world but also how they perceive you.
Projectors are Rejectors
Generally if a person is not prepared to get to know you and understand who you are, as you from you, they create a version of who they think you are. Many of these people project their mind state or thoughts and emotions on to others and write their own narratives about someone. It will never be accurate and in some cases, you are painted as a “sinner”, or flawed in some way. That is because the person projecting their feelings about you on to you is looking for the flaw or defect in you. Actively searching for anything to back up their script. This is called “self-reinforcing confirmation bias.”
If a person thinks suspiciously about you, then you become a suspicious person not to trust.
If a person thinks you are arrogant and they think you like to be a guru or something egotistical, then to them that is who you are.
You become whatever they think you are based upon their own emotions and thought scripts.
You are not that person, they are.
This is because it took them to think and feel it and it took them to write that narrative not you.
Projector Rejectors
People will project their narrative of you onto you and then, because it is a negative projection or idea or perception of you, they will act and treat you according to their perception. So, if they perceive you as a “bad” person will become hostile to you. Your own actions have nothing to do with what others think or formulate. Yes you can influence other people’s perceptions of you, by being a nice kind person, by not causing conflict, by assisting others. This can help other people understand who you are by your actions as well as words and deeds.
However, ultimately even if you are doing all these nice and kind things that are helping others because they say they are helping, it still won’t stop the projectors writing up their narratives of an opposite evil manipulative version of you. And being beholden to other people’s dark perceptions of you is another type of emotional blackmail controlling you. The irony is that the ones who project onto you a false version are exactly what they think you are. Yet they are completely unaware that it’s all come from inside them.
Believing Other People’s Projections of You
It’s sad because some people will be pandering and accepting and believing other people’s negative assessment of them. They will then be beholden to another person or other people’s perception of who they are and are not defining who they are for themselves. If this is the situation then you are at the whim and will of how others paint you. They can then recruit others to paint you in the same negative light.
So being subservient to other people’s negative narratives of you will never serve your interests but instead serve those who feel the need to define you and tell you who you are. Yes, there are actually arrogant egotistical enough people out there who will claim to know you better than you know yourself, which can never be truth because only you know yourself best as you live inside you 24/7 365. So
Whose life is it?
Is it your life you create for you as who you are? Or is it that you let others tell you what and who you are, and then live life to their perception of you? You choose.
Catching Yourself
Most people who project negative perceptions of others are not self-aware.
For example they cannot see themself thinking that they are having a negative thought about another person. They are not aware of their thinking process, instead they are swimming emotionally within those projections, not present in the now. They cannot see themselves thinking negatively about another person or that they do not know that other person. Or that they are threatened or insecure in some way to see that other as a “bad” person.
Counter Think
So if you catch yourself thinking negatively about someone, within reason, as some people are not very nice and abusive and of course have a negative aspect to you. I mean in general about others who you are not knowing. Try catching yourself in the present when you think you are being negative. Balance it out with a positive thought as that is a fun game too. Coming up with positives about people you just dissed in your mind and caught yourself doing. This way you become more self-aware and develop Metacognition. You are able to change the thought patterns you generate in real-time.
Positive Projection
Not all projection is negative thankfully. People are capable of positive projection too. They can see good things in you and nice aspects to you. This also is the same reflection of their contents inside them. Being able to see the good in others means that it is in you to see it. I am thankful that many others see me as I am, not in the sense I am just filtering out negatives and only accepting positives. That would be ego and again a bias way of self-definition that would not include constructive criticism, which I do include from my friends who talk straight to me about who they are. I don’t cherry pick only the best “reviewers” who just project positive thoughts about me. But I do appreciate it when they do see the good in me as that is a closer assessment to the type of person I am and my genuine motivations.
So, if someone is seeing the good in you, it is a sign that there is good in them to be able to identify it in you. It also means that what you do the other person appreciates too, whatever it is you do, or who you naturally are as a person. It is good to be able to see the positive in others, but also use your discernment as many fakers use “good deeds” or “charity” as a virtue to cover up a darker or more manipulative agenda or to hide the real nature of who they truly are. This is more of a deceptive personality pretending to be a “good” or “kind” person. They will then most likely try to manipulate you through a false friendship and emotionally blackmail you to do their biddings. Using fear, obligation or guilt to coerce you.
Thankfully there are people who can see through the fake cloaks of virtue and can make good assessments for themselves of who a person is and their character. They can see the fake sentiments and the person blowing their own trumpet at what a “good” person they are. This has nothing to do with real positive projection on to others as usually the ones who are positively projecting good, nice and kind attributes to another are of that character themselves. It doesn’t cost anything to think negatively or positively, but in a sense it does cost too. You can believe in a fake person’s fake positive projection and be lured into a false sense of them being a friend and confidante but be manipulated because you have put your trust in that person’s perception and assessments. So, steering you off your own path. Equally though, if you become familiar with the knowledge of how people project, then you can gain clues as to their true nature rather than the one presented. Knowing that what you are accused of is what they are is helpful. Whether being accused of being a bad or a good person, it leads back to them and their true nature inside. It’s a good way to suss out the true contents of a person rather than the surface presentation.
The Plus-Minus Projections
Everyone projects, it’s part of how we make sense of the world. We are presented with something and in that becoming aware of it, we construct scripts about it.
Positive or negative perceptions, but also these can change over time or with new info. Something you once thought of as bad could be a misunderstanding and actually now thought of as a good thing. It’s the same for how we make up our minds about people. Something once considered good can actually turn out to have been deceptive and actually, after time, be considered really bad. So a person’s assessments or your assessments do not always stay fixed and can evolve over time.
The one thing that is important to understand for all the positive projectors out there, is that there can be some issues that cause suffering to you from positive projection. I will give you an example.
I know that sometimes I get sad from an idea that I have about another person that my script has written. I will see something that I would like another person to ask me or offer to do for me, or I would see an absence of something in someone else. I would see that what I would have done for them, they have not thought to do for me. I am not seeking it from a reward basis, more just seeing if they arrive at the same thoughts as me. Often, I would notice that a gesture or a thing I would like to do for another would not be reciprocated and my offerings had not even been noticed or appreciated. So would see that I had these thoughts in me to do, but when looking to see if others were the same, realised they are not. So, hoping someone would do or think like me like I think about them, then realised that of course that was a positive projection of mine. A hopeful and maybe naive positive projection that did not meet expectations when the reality of who that person is becomes realised. It is not because they don’t care, they just don’t think it or then do it, as it’s not in them to do so, because it is in you.
You are the one with a more comprehensive range of positive thoughts and behaviour and sincere motivations. You are able to notice that it is not there inside others because you are looking for them and not finding them. This can be very disappointing when we realise others are not so expanded in thought as you are. Please take heart that it’s not the way to become sad, that it’s not present in others. Be happy instead that you have the range and aptitude and abilities to think in those higher more emotionally mature loving realms than others can currently. It is not a fault of theirs that their emotional or intellectual range is limited. So there is no point being sad for others who have yet to understand the range and emotional intelligence you have. It is a reflection of your contents that you think positively of others.
Range
Of course each one of us is a range of positive and negative projectors, just remember that whatever others project on to you is a disclosure of their insides and so you are able to see the real person from the quality of their projection. I tend to look at it as a good way to understand people that are not even aware of their own internal mindset or that whatever is inside them is being looked for in you. And of course, in confirmation bias, they will always write a false narrative and find whatever they are seeking in you. So this helps you see other people’s minds and hearts. Or lack of them, haha!
💖🙏🌟